So many things have been happening, some good, some bad, some neither here nor there. I don’t know if I should start ranting because this blog was never created with the intention to document my life, nor have I ever been one of those emo writers who can write about life in complex ways with random philosophies and statements (if you’ve never seen one of those, tell me, I’d direct you to one).
But life has been weird. Not a bad kind of weird, but things have just been happening and its become like some sort of broiler – things stacking up and heating up one after another.
I’ve just finished a series of must-dos for this year – ICS’ Camp Kathiroli for which I thankfully survived, raised some cash and changed some lives hopefully. My sister’s wedding which was godawesome and just a beautiful moment. But the big things are still here – I have got to ACE this Special Semester, I have got to contribute a little more for Sangae since I’ve already agreed to be a part of this and most of all, I have an arangetram in about less than 3 months. I’m pretty much starting to freak out. Am I going to pull this off? I sure as hell hope so.
Then there are people you deem to be the closest to you who start acting up. I don’t know why but they have to choose the oddest of times to pull these stunts. Its altogether awkward for me to hang out with an entire bunch of people just because I don’t want to make it awkward for you. Its amazing how you’re the last person I’d have imagined to drop a friend for a chic but apparently that happens to. Then someone whom I hold so close to my heart has to go into the weirdest, most oddest tantrum throwing mode when you least expect it.
At least I know you’re still here. But you come with your own set of problems and issues – and I don’t want to bog you down with any of mine. Yours are so hard to handle and mine are nothing in comparison. I worry though, as much as I am certain I don’t have issues with your baggage -it worries me that inadvertently something might just kill it for us. I don’t have the stamina or threshold to deal with yet another of these heartbreaks. You’ve been so special to this date, and I hope you always will be.
I hope people realise I am not just sitting on my ass and wasting my time. When I hear complaints of how I’m always hanging on the phone or how I’ve not achieved anything – it frustrates and angers me. I’m trying to make things work for myself and this is my do-or-die-year. I hope to graduate in a year and a half, complete my dance debut, complete a great ICS presidency term, contribute to the colourful undergrad scene, participate in at least 2-3 major dance productions and a gazillion other small ones, teach tuition to two kids completing major examinations, be a good daughter to my mother since its just me and her at home now and most of all make something out of myself. So the next person who even suggests that I’m idle – I wouldn’t care who it is – but I’m pretty sure I’d burst.
So much for claiming I didn’t want to rant – but a girl’s allowed one or two such posts right?