Proof that cavemen still exist! (A.K.A: Dimwit #2)

You would imagine that at this day and age men and women would have learnt to treat each other as equals. At the very least expressing equal respect towards each other and accepting that each of us has freewill to do what we want to do. Time and time again I come across the good, the bad and the ugly and then the jackasses. I’ve met some true gems of men but there are times when I meet the ones that deserve to get my heel aimed straight at their eye.

Since everyone has been complaining about my hiatus and how I only seem to be writing boring stuff (must be excessive Oprah), I thought I’d share an experience that has left me disgusted, shocked and annoyed to say the very least. Ladies and gentlemen – here is proof that cavemen still exist!

Last week I was invited to a birthday party. Unfortunately I only knew one other person and that too would be my first time meeting that particular person. Better than nothing I figured. But this person turns out to be the WEIRDEST ever, most OBNOXIOUS ass I’ve met. To explain clearly how weird this person is I shall state the odd things he did. Remember everyone, this is my FIRST encounter with this caveman a.k.a psycho.

#1: You missed live action

While waiting for directions to the place the birthday dinner was being held, I stood at the entrance of the main building. While I was there, this older white man approached me to ask me where he could buy clothes. I tried to give him suggestions and then he rather cheesily tries to tell me that I could follow him. I tell him I can only give him a general direction and suggested he takes a cab and leave. Thereafter this hero zero walks in with two of his friends from the same boxing academy as himself I believe and introduces himself to me. I tell him quite candidly what happened and this by the way is the first 15 minutes of our conversation. I had to listen to him tell me over and over how I should have called him because I would have gotten to see live action and that him and his boxing mates could have pummelled this guy.

Okay I understand if you really pride yourself in being an ace boxer or you seek some sick joy out of beating people up. But listen up boys out there – if you think that talking about hitting a guy with pride in the first 15 minutes of your first conversation with someone is the best way to get an impression, I’ve three words fo you: IT IS NOT!

But granted, this is still not half as weird and I assume he is just cocky. Doesn’t matter since I don’t know him and I don’t have to know him right? WRONG.

#2: Touchy Touchy Mister

Thereafter he keeps constantly patting my back rather hardly – I would consider it whacking more so than tapping and when he talks to me he somehow rests his hands on my leg. Now, I really don’t think he was doing it to sexually harrass me and that much credit I would give him. Rather, it seemed to me that he was trying to give everyone the impression that he has known me for a 1000 years. Later, he also tells me how he told his friends he has known me for a rather long time. Why would anyone do that? What was he trying to prove?

Boys out there: If you’ve just met a girl, a friendly pat on her shoulder is fine. But refrain from whacking her back or resting any of your body parts anywhere on her. This is not just because it could be misconstrued as sexual harrassment but also because its a little disrespectful and demeaning to someone you have just met!

Apart from that imagine how inappropriate this is: he mentions to one of his boxing people that I am a dancer and this person also does not know me at all and goes, “yea you look like a dancer. your body seems very flexible.” I sure as hell hope this is a person with rather bad English and what he meant to say wasn’t what he actually said.

#3: Be my mack Daddy

Thereafter, I still choose to be polite and apart from telling him not to put his hands on me, I continue conversing with him and his friends. If this was me before, I swear my fork would have been gorging his eyeballs out already but I am peaceful now so he was spared such brutal violence.

While the birthday boy invited everyone at the table to get dinner, this idiot turns to me and goes, “Olunga Saapidu. Maanathey vaangathey” (loosely translated means: eat properly, don’t make me embarassed). At this moment I was completely PUZZLED. How does me eating properly have anything to do with his pride/dignity? He sounded like a total caveman at this juncture. I was really just perplexed. (at this point by the way I hadn’t even said anything about whether I was eating or not).

After dinner and me messaging my friends 90 percent of the time to ensure I didn’t need to talk to them, the waitress brought us slices of cake. I had met another friend for lunch and we had shared 2 really decadent cakes between us and I was not at all wanting another bite, so I politely tell the waitress its okay. He gets all weird and goes “No no, you have to eat cake” and blah blah blah. Thereafter, he goes “Don’t make me feed you ah!” and comes near me with a spoon. This is where I pretty much snap and tell him not to force me to do things and that he is just embarassing himself by pulling such stunts.

Am I the only one who finds such actions weird my dear readers?

#4: Be my Ballerina

After all that drama, I quickly excuse myself as I needed to meet a few friends at O Bar and I leave. When I’m leaving suddenly I hear these 3 guys making plans to go to O Bar. I practically fly there in a taxi and try to get in the club before they reach. When in the queue with my friends, this weirdo comes to me and asks us in the most OBNOXIOUS and POMPOUS tone, “how many of you are there?” – What is he? The manager of O Bar?

Goodness. If that isn’t bad enough, when I am inside and happily seated faraway from these people with my own friends, he sends one of his friends to come tell me he needs to talk to me about something. He sounded quite serious so I follow him to where the caveman and caveman’s friend are. There, the caveman says “Dance with my friend”. I was completely PISSED at this moment. I was having a good time with my friends and I was made to come here to be commanded by you to dance with your friend? I told him that I am tired and he says…

“Its okay, dance with my coach”

WHAT THE HELL??? I told him straight to his face that he has no right to command me to do things I didn’t want to and that from the minute I met him, he’s been the most obnoxious ass I have ever met and I walked away.

I’m sorry but do I look like a ballerina in a musical box that everytime you open my box I should start dancing???

SERIOUSLY, what is wrong with this guy? I really have no words to describe the anger I felt right after that. I was so pissed that guys like this actually exist and that too have gone through a good education and are in fairly decent jobs. I am so disturbed that he could actually think that he could get away with such behaviour. And most of all, the entire thing made me laugh – cos I finally found Dimwit #2.

No pictures this time cos he doesn’t have a Friendster nor a Facebook account. If you truly want to know what was running through his head, send me a message and I will give you direct contact to this guy.

A note to all men out there: This is the 21st century. People are actually allowed to make their own decisions and be free to exercise the right to decide who they want to dance with and what they want to eat. If you beg to differ, please be prepared to be clubbed on the head.