20th May marked 2 months of me having become single. I know it isn’t much to celebrate(because essentially that’s 2 months since i got dumped) and also because 2 months isn’t a very long time since I know people who claim they’ve been single for God knows how many years. But it’s a pretty big thing for me because firstly, I’ve never actually been able to date the lapse of me being single as my relationships don’t end in such a clear-cut fashion and also because I’ve been known to leap into relationships. Yes, I’ve often been criticised for moving in and out of relationships extremely quickly. This isn’t because my love is fake or shallow, but only because I’m always so willing to give it another shot and in many cases, these many shots come right after I end one relationship.
But this time, I’ve been deeply scarred. I was highly convinced that I had found the perfect mix in a person and that everything would fit in perfectly. Unfortunately, things don’t always go as planned. Anyhow, me being the optimist(and the feminist that I am), I have made good of my singlehood and have learnt to use this time to figure myself out and figure the people around me out too.
The lessons I’ve learnt having become single.
1.If a man is cute,sweet,gentlemanly and pretty much perfect, he’s probably attached.
Refer to one of my previous posts and you’d have figured this out. In my past 2 months of being single, I’ve heard of and personally experienced enough of these attached boy-monsters to be able to sniff them out. If you need help, come find me and I will teach you the ways.
2. Being alone is really okay.
I used to be under the impression that you should never be seen somewhere all by yourself. Not because its unsafe but simply because it’s unglam. But of late, I’ve realised that it’s really okay to be seen alone. In fact I’ve even calmly sat down at a club all by myself(ok so i was waiting for someone, but I would never on a normal day sit by myself in a club) and sip my drink. In fact you are at your most aware and most beautiful when you’re all by yourself and it merely proves that you’re that secure about yourself that you don’t need company to validate you(that,or you’re a loner like yours truly).
3. Karma always finds its way
At the end of the day, no matter how much you have been hurt by someone, they’d get it back three-fold. Trust me on that because right now I’m the one looking back and laughing now thinking of all those things certain people put me through. So don’t bother wallowing in past, punishing potential sweeties and living in the past because it’s not worth any time or worth any effort.
4.Relationships may be a sham. Friends are the real deal.
I’ve never been one to undermine the importance of friendships but I have to admit that I have let relationships get in the way of my friendships as well as take priority in some aspects such as time spent. However when your heart is broken and you get it pretty much slammed back down your throat, it is your friends who have your back. I’ve never been happier to know that I have a good set of friends then my last dumping because the minute my girlfriends knew, they made sure they did everything to be there for me. At the end of the day, relationships require constant nurturing, a lot of giving and many sacrifices. If you aren’t ready to commit to that kind of a thing, then work on being a great friend. Over the last two months, I’ve had so much fun doing my hair with Bavani, burning the dance floor with Marian, having drinks with the girls, relishing in Ladies’ Nights with my sisters and being able to open my heart and say whatever i want to say without worries of pesky fights or having negative impressions made of myself. Many more outings to come with the rest of my wonderful girlfriends and that is the one perk of being single! Your time is all yours!
5. Two’s Company. Three is NONE!
The one biggest issue I have with being single is that almost all my girlfriends have boyfriends or love interests currently. I’ve become so accustomed to having a boyfriend and being able to ease into such situations that now it feels odd sitting alone with these lovebirds. They do their best to keep me comfortable and they never make me feel like I’m a lamp post but sometimes you really can’t help but wish you had someone too. In such awkward moments, I choose to ignore or busily type away on my handphone when they get a tad romantic. Otherwise, I try to avoid long moments spent, and allow them to revel in each others’ company while I go do something more productive. Or as I’ve learnt, I will bring another single friend along!
Being single isn’t as bad as I expected it to be. It feels good to know that you do not need someone to validate your existence and that you can survive alone. But no matter what, it’s always nice to know that at the end of the day, there’s that one person who will be yours solely. That’s the one thing singlehood cannot provide you with but at the moment I think the perks pretty much outweigh that!